


Accidentally Committed

by Halfmoon1720



Category: Friends (TV), How I Met Your Mother
Genre: Crossover, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-23 21:24:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20228239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halfmoon1720/pseuds/Halfmoon1720
Summary: After Barney Stinson and Phoebe Buffay have a one night stand they both try to move past, things get complicated.





	1. Not of the Usual Type

Phoebe was not his usual type, but Barney could not deny there was something...fascinating about her. She was shorter than him by just a few inches, but her wedges added enough height to her that she was comfortably at eye level. Her long blonde hair was silky and straight, he usually did prefer brunettes and red-heads (do not ask why, he could, would, not tell you honestly) but he liked the why the moonlight turned her hair silver. Her eyes caught the glow of the streetlights and he smiled at her genuinely. She had a certain mischievousness to her that was both innocent and playful. It made her quite attractive.

“Is this where you live?” She asked, a quirky smile dancing at the edges of her lips. She had a hand wrapped around her huge, ugly necklace. It looked like something a fake psychic would wear. Her rings glinted in the light. 

“It sure is. Would you care to accompany me up?” He said this with a slow wink, putting on his sexiest smile. He would sleep with her tonight, if he got his way. 

“Well I have nothing better to do, why not?” She let go of her necklace and grabbed his hand, confidently leading the way into his building. He silently chuckled at her. She could be so confident. 

“I promise you this night is going to be awesome! It’ll be legend-wait for it...” He paused, spinning her onto the elevator suavely. She laughed. “...DARY!” 

Phoebe grabbed him by his tie and pulled him close as he pressed his floor button. The elevator door closed as he leaned in for a kiss.


	2. At the Central Perk

“So, how was the upper west side of New York Pheebs? Was that uh...art thingy any fun?” Joey frowned into his coffee, furrowing his eyebrows together as he looked at the liquid. “This isn’t my order.” 

Monica giggled. “I didn’t get what I ordered either.” She sat her cup down. Chandler made a weird flailing motion with his hand as he tasted his drink, pulling back his cup and setting it down. He stuck out his tongue and whispered ‘yuck’.

Phoebe laughed and patted his back. “Yeah my ‘art thingy’ was fun. Met a few interesting people.”

“That’s great!” Joey offered his trademark smile and she grinned back at him. “I’m glad you had a good time.” 

“How was your audition?” 

“Yeah, Joe, tell her about your audition!” Chandler smirked, turning his attention on Joey. His voice took on that tone they were all familiar with by then, and phoebe eagerly leaned in for what was promising to be a good story.

“Well...so I walk in right, and there’s this parrot just sitting there staring at me and I was all confused because I thought I was going to be auditioning for the part of 'Dr. Parrot'- and yet there was this live parrot just sitting there, waiting to be auditioned I guess. How could I beat an actual parrot auditioning to be Dr. Parrot? That’s unbeatable! Well...it turns out the movie was called Doctor and Parrot. I was going to play a Doctor guy who talks to parrots.” Joey was frowning at this point. “So anyway I went with it, why not, but the parrot didn’t like me. It kept calling me an ‘Idiot’ over and over! Finally I snapped at it…”

“And?” Chandler promoted. 

“And...Well ...it was in a moment of anger, ya know? It wouldn’t stop calling me names! I told the parrot that I hoped a cat got lose and ate it, see who was stupid then. The parrot had a heart attack and...died.” 

Phoebe barked out a laugh, her hands going up to her mouth. “You told that poor little parrot you hoped a cat ate it and then it died?” 

Joey snapped his head up. “HEY it was calling me names!”

“Well we’re glad that parrot got what he deserved!” Chandler laughed. 

“It’s not funny Chandler! That blood is on my hands!” 

Ross sat down on the chair, cutting off whatever Chandler was about to say. “Hey guys.” 

“Hi Ross.” They all echoed as Rachel came over. 

Ross smiled up at Rachel as she poured him coffee. He turned his attention on Phoebe. “So how was the opening of the art gala?” He asked her. 

“Well-”

“Phoebe met a guy.” Rachel smirked. “A handsome blonde guy in a suit.” 

“-You did?”

“-What! you didn’t tell me that!” 

“Rachel!” Phoebe swatted at her when her friends quieted down.

Rachel frowned and tucked some hair behind her ear. “Sorry honey, I didn’t know that was confidential.”

“It’s fine. I just...didn’t see the point.” Phoebe looked sheepishly at Monica. “I would have told you too if it was important.”

Monica just nodded. “It’s ok. But spill the details, you met a guy?” 

Phoebe waved her hand dismissively. “Eh. Just a one night stand.” Chandler choked on his coffee.

Phoebe thought about Barney and refused to acknowledge the blush rising up to her cheeks. He had been a handsome, mysterious stranger, who was good in bed. Nothing more. She would never see him again. Even if she already missed his easy laughs and smiles, his enthusiasm in everything he did. She had only known him for that night. Nothing more. 

“I thought you didn’t have one night stands?” Monica asked.

“Usually I don’t. But he had been...persuasive.” And so, so, funny. So handsome. She sighed and got up, picking up her guitar. She pushed Barney to the back of her mind. “I’ll talk to you guys later, I’m on.”

Her friends watched her go, intrigued and concerned.


	3. Lady's man

“NICE!” Barney held up his hand for a high five. Marshall rolled eyes but conceded, holding up his hand for a high five. Barney happily smacked his hand, his eyes darting back to the girl he got to talk to Ted. She was a statuesque brunette, who was a straight 10. Her eyes were lovely and smoky, sexy. Ted would fumble a bit, but sooner or later he’d get into it and sweep her off her feet. He'd bet on it.

Barney secretly crossed his fingers. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t go for her yourself, Barney.” Lily asked, leaning comfortably into Marshall’s side.

“Oh you haven’t noticed?” Robin looked away from the smiling goddess that was talking to Ted and fixed her eyes on Barney. Her voice was tinged in jealousy but they all ignored it. “Barney’s only been going for blondes.”

Lily snapped her fingers in realization. “You’re right! She’s right?” She turned to Barney. “Why? Since when?”

“A month ago.” Marshall answered. “That's when I noticed.”

Barney said nothing, stirring his drink around. He refused to think of Phoebe. She was a one night stand for god sake. One night stands didn’t matter. He hasn't found a woman who has satisfied him since, but he would never admit that out loud or to himself. There were plenty of girls out there. So what if Phoebe was constantly in the back of his mind? She had been sweet and funny, strange and memorable, but he could find another girl like her...surely...

Just because he hasn't yet meant nothing. 

"So?" Marshall prompted, just as Ted made the brunette laugh.

"So, blondes have more fun? Did no one ever tell you that?" Barney said in his most obnoxious lady's man voice, successfully getting the others to back off. He shoved the image of Phoebe's sparkling blue eyes to the back of his mind.

There were plenty of other women out there, women he's known longer than her, even. She shouldn't matter.

She shouldn't matter.


	4. Oh No...

Phoebe’s eyes widened as she looked at her Doctor. 

“You’re sure? Because the test I took at home could be wrong so your test here might be-”

“Phoebe, I’m sorry. My test aren’t wrong.” 

“Oh…”

“This is a good thing, Miss Buffay! The miracle of life always is.”

“Oh, can it lady, I’m having a crisis here! A baby! I’m too young to have a baby! I’m only 25!” 

“Miss Buffay-” 

Phoebe got up and left. She needed to talk to Rachel and Monica.

A baby? What is she supposed to do?


End file.
